Written By: Virginia Satir
In all the world there is not one exactly like me.
Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because I choose it...I own everything about me, my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions whether they be to others or to myself...
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears...
I own all of my triumphs and successes, all of my failures and mistakes...because I own all of me.
I become intimately acquainted with me...by so doing,
I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts...
I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me and other aspects I do not know...but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself,
I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me...however I look and sound whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me...if later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought and felt turned out to be unfitting,
I can discard that which is unfitting and keep the rest and invest something new for that which is I discard...I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do.
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me...
I own me and therefore I can engineer me...
I am me and I AM OKAY.
How to Live and Implement This Declaration
Virginia Satir’s words encourage a profound journey of self-awareness and self-empowerment. Here are steps to help you bring this declaration to life in your daily practice:
1. Embrace Self-Reflection
Action: Dedicate time each day to journaling or meditating on your experiences, emotions, and actions. Ask yourself questions like:
"What did I feel proud of today?"
"What puzzled or frustrated me, and how can I explore it?"
Outcome: This helps you become more intimately acquainted with yourself, building a foundation for self-love.
2. Own Your Choices
Action: Practice saying to yourself, “I chose this” for actions and decisions, big or small. This includes acknowledging mistakes without self-judgment.
Outcome: Taking ownership empowers you to learn, grow, and take control of your life instead of falling into blame or regret.
3. Develop a Practice of Self-Compassion
Action: When you catch yourself in negative self-talk, pause and reframe it with kindness. For example:
Instead of “I failed,” say, “This didn’t work out, but I can try another way.”
Outcome: Self-compassion strengthens your ability to remain “friendly with yourself in all your parts,” as Satir suggests.
4. Reevaluate and Reinvent
Action: Regularly assess what is “authentically you” and what no longer serves your growth. Create a “keep, discard, create” practice:
Keep: What still aligns with your values and goals.
Discard: What habits, beliefs, or attitudes no longer fit.
Create: New ways of thinking or behaving that serve the life you want to lead.
Outcome: This keeps you aligned with your authentic self and supports continuous personal evolution.
5. Use Your Tools to Thrive
Action: List the tools you already possess—your skills, talents, strengths, and support systems. When faced with challenges, reflect on how you can use these tools to engineer solutions.
Outcome: This reinforces your ability to survive, connect with others, and find order in the world.
6. Affirm Your Worth
Action: Each morning or evening, repeat the final line of Satir’s declaration: “I am me, and I am okay.” Say it aloud or write it down as a reminder of your intrinsic worth.
Outcome: Affirmations like this help cultivate self-acceptance and reinforce a positive relationship with yourself.
Living in alignment with Virginia Satir's declaration is a lifelong journey of self-awareness, growth, and self-compassion. By embracing these practices, you can cultivate a deeper connection with yourself, build resilience, and confidently navigate the world as your authentic self.
Remember, transformation starts with small, intentional steps. As you implement these actions, trust the process and remind yourself daily: “I am me, and I am okay.”
You have everything you need within you to live fully, love deeply, and thrive authentically.
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